On Friday evening Doug was put to sleep.
This is the Hardest decision Dairin and I have ever made - and we will probably never be sure that we were right. At the moment the guilt is crippling and we are struggling to deal with it. I can not go into all the details that led us to this point - at the moment it is just too painful.
Doug has had huge impact on our lives and we miss him so much. He was an amazingly cuddly and cute pup when we got him at 5 months and the first year was such fun. Since then we have still had a wonderful time but Dougs erractic behaviour has got worse and we know that he was not happy - on the outisde he was as manic and healthy as ever - but we knew that not to be the case.
Our decision was based on what was safest and best for all - including Doug. We could take no risks with Lily and didn't want Doug to be in turmoil and sadness any longer.
But now we are in turmoil and sadness instead - We can't help wondering if we were too panicky - would he really ever attacked Lily? was he really escalating as much as we felt? We will never know - and that is something we have to come to terms with.
Losing a dog is always hard - but when they are so young, its not their fault and you have to make the decision ........ then its the worse case scenario.
And its our first...... being an adult these last 6 months has sucked - oh to be 3 again!
Hopefully time will heal, at least a little, and soon we will be remembering Doug for the fantastic dog that he was - on and off the agility field - without the guilt.